Relationships, whether with our spouse, children, coworkers, or friends, often stretch us in ways nothing else can. We don’t like to admit it, but there are times when someone’s quirks, habits, or mistakes test the very limits of our patience. We find ourselves sighing, groaning, and wondering how to hold our tongue. And it is in these everyday moments that patience, especially the biblical kind called forbearance, must take root. To understand the necessity of cultivating patience, we need to go to the source—our patient and loving God.
When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden, God had every right to end humanity on the spot. Yet instead of unleashing immediate judgment, He clothed them, covered their shame, and gave them a way forward (Genesis 3:21-23). This is the first display of God’s patience with humanity, his most prized creation. His restraint in this moment of rebellion tells us much about his character. He desires to redeem what is lost. Let’s explore this attribute of God a bit more.
Last week, we learned two Greek words that describe biblical patience. This week, we will explore another word that will give us further insight into an aspect of patience: forbearance. The word forbearance literally means “holding back.” You may be familiar with this term as it is used in financial matters. For example, a lender practices forbearance by “holding off” on collecting a debt. Spiritually, it means choosing to withhold judgment or retaliation, even when someone deserves it. It is the steadfast choice to give people space to grow, fail, and try again.
Paul echoes this sentiment in his letter to the church at Colossae: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13 NIV). Behind this simple command is a powerful reasoning for why we extend grace to each other. The Lord forgave us for so much more when we sinned against him. If the Lord can forgive us all our sins, how can we not extend that same forgiveness to others?
Forbearance, simply put, is active grace in motion.
We see this patience at work in the story of Jonah. God called Jonah to preach a message of repentance to Nineveh, the Assyrian capital infamous for its cruelty and violence. The Assyrians were known for torturing their enemies, tearing down nations, and living in arrogance against God. From a human perspective, Jonah was right—Nineveh deserved judgment. But God saw beyond their wickedness and longed to give them a chance to turn back to him.
Jonah, however, ran the other way. He boarded a ship for Tarshish, determined to escape the assignment. Yet even in Jonah’s rebellion, God showed forbearance. Instead of discarding Jonah as a failed prophet, the Lord sent a storm to arrest his flight, then appointed a great fish to swallow and preserve him. Three days later, Jonah was spit out onto dry land—alive, restored, and recommissioned. God gave Jonah a second chance.
And when Jonah preached the world’s shortest sermon—“Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown” (Jonah 3:4 NIV)—the unthinkable happened. From the king to the poorest citizen, the Ninevites repented in sackcloth and ashes! And God relented. His judgment was postponed, his mercy extended.
Jonah, ironically, was angry at God’s patience: “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity” (Jonah 4:2 NIV). Even in his anger, Jonah recognized the longsuffering aspect of God’s character and acknowledged it. While Jonah cried out for justice, God chose mercy instead. Jonah sulked outside the city, but God continued to patiently teach him that His patience is wider and deeper than human prejudice.
This is forbearance on full display: God held back judgment from a violent nation to extend mercy, and He held back judgment from a stubborn prophet to restore him to service.
His patience with both reveals his heart—that kindness and restraint are meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
So, what is the takeaway? How can we practically grow in forbearance with the people God puts in our path on any given day?
👣 Practical step: The next time a spouse, coworker, or child irritates you, pause and ask: Is this a hill worth dying on, or a preference I can release?
👣 Practical step: Before responding to criticism, pause and pray, “Lord, help me see this person as You see them.” That prayer shifts perspective from irritation to compassion.
👣 Practical step: If someone’s hurt you and it lingers, speak forgiveness out loud in prayer until your heart feels free. You may need to do it many times—but freedom always follows.
Relationships thrive when we exercise forbearance. Instead of reacting with anger, fault-finding, or harsh words, we extend patience, and the Spirit produces harmony and healing. Tertullian, one of the early church fathers, wrote that patience “fortifies the soul” and undergirds all other virtues. Without it, love, peace, and joy crumble.
When we hold back judgment, choose calm steadiness, and forgive as God forgave us, we mirror his heart. Forbearance transforms irritation into grace, fractures into unity, and ordinary relationships into testimonies of God’s love.
✒️REFLECT AND WRITE
What is one takeaway that you will put into action this week to grow the fruit of patience in your relationships with others?
Coming Up: Next week, we will explore how we wait patiently for the Lord to answer and intervene, and why it is that we need to do so.
Do you want to learn how to walk in freedom and cultivate this kind of enduring patience?
Check back weekly in September to learn more about the fruit of patience! Explore additional thought-provoking posts on our Fruits of Faith Blog and consider joining our BibleSpot S.T.A.R.s Discipleship Program, a 90-day intensive study and coaching program beginning in January 2026. We hope to be an encouraging part of your spiritual journey!
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